What should i do about my ex boyfriend?

Hi, I'm Tracy. And i have a problem, okay so here's the thing it's about my ex boyfriend we broke up three months ago but i still love him with all of my heart and he says he still has feelings for me too but it's like sometimes he'll say we need each other and he thinks about US but other times he'll say he just wants to be friends i don't get it. He knows how i feel and i just talked to him about it again a couple hours ago and he just started ignoring me, i don't know why. I've been crying about this for three months and right now i honestly feel like killing myself because in my life I've only felt pain but when me and Cody was together i felt happy and loved for once in my life. All i want is him. I don't even know who i am now i feel like i see me in him i feel like he's the other half of me. Ya know? I really don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to try and get over him because I've tried it. I've tried talking to him many times. I know he does have feelings for me. We lost our virginity to each other too, maybe that's why i love him so much? Sometimes he can be a huge a** hole but other times he's really sweet. What should i do? He has even told me he was stupid to break up with me and that he wishes things were like they use to be and that he was stupid for breaking up with me.Tell me a story about a relationship you wished never ended?